So many of you have similar stories of how meaningful your music community has been to you. Participation in bands, orchestras, and choirs helps students and adults form lasting connections that can last a lifetime. Teachers who work together to teach music can also form long-lasting friendships.

Music ensembles naturally create conditions for meaningful connections. These connections are created through relationships, a sense of purpose, and engagement with something larger than ourselves. Music ensembles offer all of that, and as an added benefit, they connect our students to the profound, powerful, and life-enhancing gift of music. 

“Ah, music,” he said, wiping his eyes. “A magic beyond all we do here!”
– Albus Dumbledore

Positive psychology identifies key factors that contribute to our happiness and well-being and offers research-backed tools to help individuals increase their happiness levels. In a landmark positive psychology study, Ed Diener and Martin Seligman (2002) found that the happiest people had strong social relationships with meaningful connections. Meaningful relationships are an essential part of our happiness.

Our innately connection-affirming music groups provide the perfect setting for modeling and teaching strategies for raising connection and happiness levels.

Raising happiness levels is critical to our students’ success. In a meta-analysis of 225 academic studies, researchers found that happy individuals are, on average, 31% more productive, and their creativity is three times greater than those who are less happy (Lyubomirsky et al., 2005). Imagine how amazing it would be if we could help our students become 31% more productive and 3 times more creative! The good news is that research shows we can aim to achieve this by using researched positive psychology tools that will make our students happier.

Nurturing Connection

In Love 2.0: Finding Happiness and Health in Moments of Connection, Barbara Fredrickson explores how tiny moments of positive connection are crucial to our health, success, and well-being. She refers to these brief emotions as micro-moments of connection.

Her research explores how these short but impactful positive emotions can broaden individuals’ thinking, build long-term resources, and increase happiness levels. 

Brief moments of connection with others, such as a smile, a glance, a kind word, or a shared joke, can activate the brain’s reward system, leading to measurable increases in oxytocin, fostering trust, and strengthening our sense of belonging, 

Below are some ways to create these small, impactful micro-moments of connection in our music classrooms.

A Kind Word: 

“Give honest and sincere appreciation.” 
– Dale Carnegie from How to Win Friends and Influence People

A sincere compliment or encouraging word, such as “I love your energy,”’ can create a small but meaningful connection and remind you that someone cares about you.

• Make Compliments Specific

Years of research have found that general compliments are less effective at improving relationships or boosting self-esteem. In contrast, specific compliments are perceived as more sincere and meaningful, making a more significant impact.

“Thank you for being a curious, dedicated educator who is taking their valuable time to read this article!”
– Peggy Rakas

• Praise Effort, Not Talent

Research by Mueller and Dweck (1998) encourages teachers to praise effort and process and to resist praising talent. In this influential study, students were divided into two groups and given a test.

After completing the first test, one group was praised for their talent, while the other was praised for their effort.

The teachers then asked each student to choose between an easy or more challenging option for the second test. 

• 97% of the students praised for their effort chose the more difficult test.
• 67% of those praised for their talent chose the easier test.

All the students were then asked to take a third test of equal difficulty to the first.

• Students praised for their effort increased their grades by 30%.
• Those praised for their talent scored 20% lower than they had initially.

This study suggests that when a teacher compliments a student’s talent, the student may think, “You value me because I’m talented, so I better not do anything that might challenge that.” 

However, focusing on effort reinforces that growth is about the process, not just innate talent, and encourages students to take on challenges. 

• Call Students by Name:

“Remember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”  
– Dale Carnegie

Ten years after I graduated from Bowling Green State University, I ran into my college band director, Mark Kelly, at the Ohio Music Educators Conference. After all those years, he walked up to me, smiled, and said, “Margaret Ann Rakas!” I was completely floored! Not only did he remember me, but he remembered my middle name—and that I was actually Margaret, not just Peggy (a nickname all my friends and family call me). I was deeply touched and felt an overwhelming appreciation for Mr. Kelly.

Then, twenty years later, it hit me: 

I had a nametag on! 😳

I had spent years thinking Mr. Kelly was truly amazing. And, in many ways, he was—but remembering my name at that conference wasn’t one of them. Still, I’ll always treasure the moment when he called me by name and greeted me with warmth and a big smile.

Research shows that we feel a stronger sense of connection when we’re personally acknowledged—whether through a smile, eye contact, or someone using our name. These small moments of recognition create a sense of shared appreciation, and I certainly felt that connection when Mr. Kelly greeted me by name.

• A Shared Smile: 

“A smile is a free gift, and it’s the best way to make people feel at ease.”
– Dale Carnegie

There is much research to support that teachers who smile create a welcoming and approachable atmosphere, making students feel more comfortable in the classroom. And smiles are contagious. Research by Hatfield, Cacioppo, and Rapson (1994) explores the concept of emotional contagion—the phenomenon where emotions, including happiness, can spread between people. Smiling at others is often met with a smile in return, demonstrating how emotions like happiness can be contagious.

“You’re never fully dressed without a smile.” 
– from Annie

• Laughter:

Humor is a natural connector. A shared laugh over a joke, a silly moment, or a funny observation can break down barriers and make people feel relaxed and comfortable. Research by Romero and Cruthird, 2007, found that humor in the workplace supports greater employee satisfaction and happiness, improves team dynamics, and simply makes work environments more fun.

If you are lucky enough to be amazingly funny, feel free to share your humor as much as possible. However, if you need some humorous inspiration, you can find my collection of funny posters for the music room here.😉

• Connect with Students Before and After Class:

While our students may not always experience positive relationships at home, we can provide them with a welcoming, supportive space—what might be considered the musical version of the “Cheers Bar.” A place “where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came.”

Aim to build that sense of home for your students: greet them at the door, create a small moment of connection, and let them know “you’re glad they came,” and they will reward you beyond measure. 🎶

NO ONE EVER SAID – I WISH I HAD NOT LEARNED TO LOVE MUSIC!

Being a music educator is truly one of the best professions on Earth. We enrich our students’ lives through lifelong, meaningful social connections while sharing the awe-inspiring benefits of music. And both students and teachers get to have fun!

I hope these ideas help both you and your students increase your moments of connection, enhancing your happiness and success. And, when you go to your next high school reunion, may you have a fabulous time connecting with your fellow musicians at the music table!

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but
people will never forget how you made them feel.”
– Maya Angelou

Book links to Brian Johnson’s Philosopher’s Notes used with permission.

Please feel free to visit TeachingPositivity.org for additional positive psychology resources.

If you have any questions or would like to share your thoughts, don’t hesitate to reach out to peggyrakas@gmail.com —I’d be happy to hear from you!

The post Positive Psychology for Music Educators: Nurturing Meaningful Connections appeared first on MakeMusic.

Don’t be discouraged! With some fine-tuning of your resolutions, you can make it more likely that you will succeed. It might be harder to teach an older dog new tricks, but it can be done! And, to those of you in your 20’s, you definitely can do this! Our brains are far more malleable than we think, and we can start new habits at any age.

It Is Not About Your Willpower

According to James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, the problem with achieving our goals is not our willpower; the problem is that we focus on the goal and not on a system of attaining our goals. We need to concentrate on a system and look for small habits that support that plan. 

Think Of Habits Like Small Sections Of Music

When faced with a challenging piece, we would advise our students to examine the music, find a part that is just a little bit hard, break it into small pieces, and learn one small section at a time. Then put it together to create our best work. Look at our self-improvement habits like those tiny sections in music. They are the building blocks that will help us develop our optimal selves. Find little areas to work on that, once mastered, will be the stepping stones toward making the changes you desire.

New Beginnings Can Help

Research from Katy Milkman, the author of How to Change, tells us there is power in new beginnings when making life changes. She calls it the Fresh Start Effect. You are more motivated to commit to a change in behavior if you connect that change to a fresh start, such as a new year, birthday, season, month, or even a Monday! 

The blank slate of a new beginning makes it more likely to make and keep our goals. The fresh start helps us gain perspective and realize that today is a new day, and our failures in the past do not have to define us. The late, great Stephen Sondheim also weighs in with the last line of the musical, Sunday in the Park with George:

“White: a blank page or canvas. His favorite—so many possibilities.”

Our possibilities, and our students’ possibilities, are far more than we think. We need to dream big, and at the same time, support our dreams with tiny steps.

Focus On Who You Want To Become

In Atomic Habits, James Clear suggests that instead of focusing on what we want, we can be more successful if we focus on who we want to become. He states: 

“It’s one thing to say I’m the type of person who wants this. It’s something very different to say I am the type of person who is this.”

He also tells us that behavior change is a two-step process:

1. Decide the type of person you want to be.
2. Prove it to yourself with small wins.

Here is one more helpful hint: Adding a positive habit is easier than breaking a bad habit. So, to gain confidence in your new system, start with adding a positive new habit.

Fine-Tune Your Resolution

If you have made a resolution, take a moment, and run your resolution through the following tools. And if you have not made one yet, let’s get on that! 

Let’s get started with James Clear’s question,

“Who do you want to become?” 

After you have answered that question, take a moment to answer this question posed to us by the poet, Mary Oliver: 

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

These are not always easy questions to answer, but see what answers you come up with and keep visiting these questions often.

Now, pick a small habit that gets you closer to being the person you strive to be and helps you do what you plan to do with the gift of your one wild and precious life. 

Many habits will take you there. Do not worry if you are not sure you are picking the “right” habit. Just pick one related to who you want to become and get started.  

To get started, put your new habit through the tools below. 

Habit Success Tool # 1: Tiny, Tiny, Tiny. 

Make your new habit so small it is almost impossible to fail.

Take your new resolution and make it small. Next, make it smaller. Then make that habit ridiculously small! So small that it is almost impossible to fail. You could JUST SHOW UP!

If you want to practice more, you could resolve to JUST SHOW UP to your practice area. Or, if your goal is to exercise daily, decide to JUST SHOW UP on your exercise mat every day (my personal favorite!). You have now made it easy to be successful.

Habit Success Tool #2: Attach Your New Habit To An Existing Habit.

Habit stacking is a term for attaching a new habit to an existing habit. Examples include:

• When I brush my teeth or go to bed, I will be grateful for one thing.
  
• When I take a shower or bath, I will do a breathing meditation for 10 seconds.
  
• When I watch TV at night, I will SHOW UP on my exercise mat.
  
• When I wake up, I will meditate for 1 minute.
  

This technique is a powerful tool to help jumpstart almost any new habit. As the Star Wars movies remind us, “Don’t underestimate the power of the force [of habit stacking].”

Habit Success Tool #3: Keep Track Of Your New Habit And Try Not To Miss Two Days In A Row.

Research shows that walkers who wear a pedometer walk, on average, 1 mile more a week than walkers who do not have a pedometer. Weight Watchers, NOOM, and many other self-improvement programs know this and have their members track their progress. You can keep track of your new habit in many ways. Free habit tracker apps include Streaks for iPhone users and Loop for Android users, or you can use a printed page like my JUST SHOW UP habit tracker that you can find in the resources section of my website, TeachingPositivity.com. 

I have also created a free JUST SHOW UP practice record for your students that you can also find on my website. We all know that practice records can be challenging at best, but research supports that your students will practice more if they keep track.

Also, try not to BREAK THE STREAK. We are all human, so we need to build in the flexibility to miss a day now and then. But missing two days in a row can derail your habit.

Habit Success Tool #4 – Celebrate Your Tiny New Habit!

In his book Tiny Habits, BJ Fogg tells us that celebration is the key to establishing any long-term habit. After we perform our new habit, a celebration will release dopamine in our brain, making us happier and more apt to repeat our habit.  

Hurray for your effort! You are a person of action! You can celebrate with a small treat like a bit of dark chocolate, a reward of time to watch a favorite show, a cup of tea, by taking a moment to flex a muscle, by putting a check on a habit tracker, or by simply saying to yourself, “That’s like me!”

Remind yourself to celebrate your students’ progress too. The power of celebration works with everyone! A high five, a name on a chart, a genuine smile can go a long way to motivate them. 

Habit Success Tool #5 – The Power Of “Oh Well” and Start Again

An old Japanese proverb states, “Fall down seven times, stand up eight.” We are human. We will fail. So, when you do fail, just say “Oh well,” and start again. This might be the most important tool!

It Is A Question Of Time, Patience, And Intelligent Work 

The esteemed flutist and music educator Marcel Moyse tells us, “It is a question of time, patience, and intelligent work.” Just like mastering your instrument, life change does not happen overnight. Be patient, be consistent and work on your habits each day. Aristotle eloquently says, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.”

If you would like to learn more about habit formation, dive into some awesome tiny habits, and hear a few bad jokes, watch my Webinar, “Fine-tune Your Resolutions for A Major Change.”

May 2022 be safe, healthy, and happy for you and your students. And may it be full of HAPPY TINY POSSIBILITIES!

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